Cynthia J
I had limited training in my upbringing, poor life skills, major depression and Post Traumatic Stress.
Some thoughts on exactly what is it that I do.
My Life Changing Learning
1. If I were asked to explain in one sentence what Susie did for me, I would say, “Susie provided me with the skills that I would have been given as a child, if I had been raised by Perfect parents.’
The process involved trust, openness, willingness to try a new way to think and practise on my part.
2. Should vs Inspired
The beginning of the process was learning how to recognise the difference between what I “should” do and what “inspires” me. Once recognised I could then put into practise the method of only doing what “inspires” me and not doing what I think society, my family or partner think I “should” do.
Once instilled into daily life this became the benchmark for change and reduction of the stress in my mind and my daily existence.
3. Intuition vs Analysis
As a person who uses analysis to gather and understand a situation, I could not understand why I kept making the same mistakes with the people in my life. This would lead to higher stress levels for me. Susie trained me to recognise and use my intuition. She encouraged me to see that as MY TRUTH. She encouraged me to value it and follow it in every situtation. I had a lot of unlearning to do, though with practise it has become my most valuable life tool. I also now have pride in my thoughts because I believe my SELF.
4. Susie would offer more positive options for words to use with my ‘automatic’ thoughts and self-talk. I took this further into how I talk with other people face to face and through email. This has made it easier to be understood.
5. After spending many years and many dollars speaking with therapists and counsellors to no avail, Susie was able to guide me through the process of understanding the behaviours of my family which had caused me intense grief for many years.. When I made the decision to cut the ties, it was my own decision I was able to make without the agony that came from many years of wanting to.It helped me to be strong and comfortable and focused on the process of gauging once and for all, if there was hope for a healthy relationship with my family…..and then helping me through the process after my decision.
6. I learned practical methods of making decisions based on my Preference and gathering all of the information I needed when my husband was made redundant. This made us feel in control and we actually ended up with the option we preferred, another job in the same industry with money left over from the payout.
7. I learned to systematically look at the aspects of my relationship that were bothering me and make decisions that I felt comfortable with, with no stress related to the process.
8. I now see joy and beauty in a simple day and call it a good day regardless of ill health or financial concerns.
I also learned how to deal with problems while keeping a sense of humour about it. I learned, with never being told, to lighten up a little. The amazing thing is that I did it, Susie never told me what to do, she only asked questions and gave feedback.
What did you get for your money and time?
I got much more than I paid for with dollars. I was able to have contact via email many times a day if I need to talk and Susie responded meaningfully to every one. I always felt my questions and sharing was welcomed and met with kindness. I could share the most private of my thoughts.
What are the benefits you have seen from working with me?
Post Traumatic Stress creates damaged areas in the cells of the brain that over-react when stressed. This leads to panic attacks, anxiety, memory loss and flashes of traumatizing events.
On an observational, practical, medical level, I believe this learning process has created physical changes in my brain. I believe I have grown new pathways. WHOLE NEW NEURONS. I can tell this because my brain no longer automatically flicks to the “I want to be dead” thought when I am distressed or overwhelmed. I believe this is more than practising a new habit or thinking. I believe the neuron pathway that led to that thought is weakening. There is now a new pathway leading from the area of neurons that fire when I am distressed that leads to the area where my new coping skills are stored.
Susie, What I really meant to emphasise here is that while I recognise and respect the spiritual growth aspect, the learning, the acceptance of a different way to think, the forming of new habits, the whole existential aspect of what you do…….aside and additionally to all of that part of it…I think physical change happens in the brain, or at least I believe it has in mine. That is a wonderful thing. Because the changes are so good.
Coaching achieved what years of therapy did not begin to address. How to live My Best Life For This Day.